no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
