she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
