every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
