8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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