I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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