you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
