Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
