Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
