Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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