I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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