Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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