"it" just moved
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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