I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
