Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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