It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
