Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
