Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
