So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
one two three fourrrrnication!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize