Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
