I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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