Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
