Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
