Banned from zoo.
Again?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
