If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
