They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize