There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
