Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
