im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
