it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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