It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
