official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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