so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Two words: nipple clamps
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