Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
