I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
