I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How's work?
Spinning.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
