Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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