he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
