Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
