Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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