wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
