she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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