I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
