What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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