I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I skipped work to stalk him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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