"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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