his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
