And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
