So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
