Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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