Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
