she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
smell my finger.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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