u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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