Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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