i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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