Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
