Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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