Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
