I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
